The Fast and the Bo
by Peacekeeper 37
Summary: Bobobo has gotten bored with his current adventures of fighting the Chrome Dome Empire, so he goes somewhere new! Showing up at the end of the baseball game for a Chaos Emerald, Bobobo involves himself in the situation by attending. What will become of this decision? One thing's for certain; When Bobobo's involved. NO ONE IS SAFE! NOT EVEN THE NARRATOR!


**AN: HEeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehehehehehehehhe. Ehhhhhhhh. I suppose I got sum 'splainin to do.**

**Well other than the usual school and work, I've been watching some Bobobo and the old Sonic X show from back in the day on Kissanime. Pretty weird, right? Well anyway, one thing leads to another and here's this big ol clustered mess of a story. Now some of you may be wondering 'What is Bobobo?' Well all you really need to do is look up some moments on YouTube, but it's basically the greatest anime of all time! Taken straight from the Wikipedia page, **_**Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo is a comedy influenced by Japanese manzai humor that uses puns, double-talk, breaking of the fourth wall, non-sexualized cross-dressing, visual gags, and satirical and pop-culture references. **_**Basically even characters that break the fourth wall or pull stuff out of thin air like Pinkie Pie, Deadpool, all those characters are but mere children compared to the golden fro man that is Bobobo.**

**Expect a fast-paced story, or at least beginning, with a WHOLE lot of references and idiotic moments. Don't expect anything to make sense and a lot of nonsensical hoppin around along with bad grammar and paragraph building too. Cuz this is a Bobobo fic. Bobobo is not meant to be sensible! And for this reason it's a good idea I'm not too worried about continuing with Ghost Recon right now, seeing as I'm currently WAY out of focus. _ **

**GOD, I'm a bad author.**

**Somewhere in the year 300X**

A meadow… one would imagine such a scene to be a lovely thing. Rolling hills of grass and flowers. For sure that's what the scene was, except for a pink-haired girl who one would expect to be laying in said meadow was at this moment out and about, looking for someone.

"BOBOBOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" She called out. But getting no response.

Beauty was her name, and hunting for the one named Bobobo was her game. Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo. The cool and incomprehensible hero of hair, muscles and the 24 karat afro who has once again wandered off on his own to do whatever. As he is prone to do despite being the hero of hair.

But as one would hope for, she did eventually find him. Playing go fish with Don Patch, an orange, sun-shaped creature. Jelly Jiggler, a humanoid shaped gelatin man and a turkey.

"GOBBLE GOBBLE GOBBLE!" The turkey cried out in joy, his cards going everywhere.

"NO! I had it and I lost it, oh why oh why didn't I use the card up my sleeve!?" The muscley man cried in loss

"I saw it comin a mile away." Jiggler said flatly melting to the ground.

"THAT'S IT! Forget Christmas! WE'RE HAVIN THANKSGIVIN IN JULY!" Don patch roared in anger, reaching under the table and pulling out a flamethrower. The turkey immediately started runnin in fear gobbling for help as the angry sun man ran after him spewing flames everywhere.

"YOU LOST TO A BIRD?!" Beauty cried out in her trademark shock.

"You've been traveling with these guys for how long now?" Said the voice belonging to Gasser, the boy possessing the powers of the Fist of the Back Wind. Appearing from behind her.

"WHEN DID YOU SUDDENLY GET HERE?!"

"You've been travelling with them for how long and you still act like sane logic is a part of life." Gasser commented pointing out the painfully obvious.

"Gasser's right. You're acting like a girl!" Beauty's reaction to Bobobo's comment was expected, the shock combined with the angry pout.

Jelly Jiggler reanimated and stood back up to collect the cards. "And here I thought today would be nice and calm. I only just got this new smartphone and was planning to watch the soap opera I saved. 'As the Jelly Turns!'" Bobobo's eyes glistened from behind his glasses upon hearing those words.

"OH! Did you see the latest episode?!" He asked in glee as he now bore a teenage girl's getup with pigtails.

"OH I did!" Jelly responded in his own set of clothes now. "It was so sad how he left her for a younger bowl of jelly!"

"THAT'S NOT A REAL SOAP OPERA! AND YOU'RE JUST REPEATING STUFF FROM PREVIOUS EPISODES!"

"Mmm. Beauty is right." Bobobo said reverting to normal. He then sat cross-legged looking at the wild blue yonder. His normally goofy or otherwise unpredictable behavior temporarily subsiding. "… I guess I'm just bored."

"Bored?" Beauty asked. Interest was now being directed towards the main character (don't tell Don Patch) as he entered a seemingly zen state of being. He even suddenly had a robe to show for it.

"As you know. I devoted myself to fighting the Chrome Dome Empire and will always be ready to save a hair in need. But I cannot help but feel a certain feeling deep within my gut. A feeling I have never felt before." He spoke in a zen-like trance as cherry blossoms flew in the wind.

"Hmmm. Tell me about it. How does it feel?" Jelly Jiggler asked, now donned with glasses and a tie with pen and paper sitting upon a chair. Bobobo was still in his position, but upon a therapist patient chair. "Do you feel mad? Sad? Lost?"

"WHEN DID YOU BECOME A THERAPIST!?" Gasser asked.

"Mmmm no. No. It's just I enjoy what I do and I don't wanna stop but recently when I do it nowadays I don't feel any satisfaction. No interest in what I do. It's like I do what I love for years and then before I know it… no more interest. I can't even bring myself to find more fights even though I know it's right."

"It sounds like he's bored." Beauty said.

"It sounds like you're bored." Jelly said with no acknowledgement to the pink-haired girl already saying it.

"EXACTLY! I'm bored!" Bobobo cried out as he flailed in a tantrum. Beauty of course was rather upset with being unrecognized. "Youdon'tknowwhatit'sliketodosomethingoverandoverandoverandnotfeelanysatisfaction! I mean come on, wouldn't it kill the writers or whoever runs this business to make a little variety? A new enemy or two? Even if it's just secondary or tertiary to the Chrome Domes! And we just do it all on the same planet and country or whatever over and over again like it's the only thing we have!" As Bobobo burst into tears, Beauty and Gasser only looked with the all too familiar look of -_- on their faces. Bobobo complains about boredom with the same enemies over and over again when every battle they have is practically anything but the last one and is capable of more or less literally making his own world. And here he is whining about it. Don Patch returned during all this, bearing the hat of a chef and a twirly mustache to boot.

"Ohonhonhonhon. Do not be so sad, mon ami! I know what will cheer you up!" He declared in a French accent before handing the big turkey to Bobobo. "A nice big fat juicy turkey fresh from the fires of France!" The answer was a punch to the face that sent the mock Frenchman flying into the sky screaming 'SACRE BLEU' along with the turkey being absolutely demolished.

"I'M ON A DIET!" Bobobo screamed in anger as Don Patch inevitably landed onto the ground, legs sticking out. Jiggly finished his notes and pushed his glasses upon his nonexistent nose.

"The answer is obvious. Not only are you bored. You're not getting enough protein in your diet. You know what they say! A turkey leg a day keeps the boogeyman away!"

"I'M ON A DIET!" Bobobo cried again as he punched Jiggler into the sky as well.

"BUT IT'S SCIENTIFICALLY PROVEN!" Jiggler cried.

"WHAT DOES THE BOOGEYMAN HAVE TO DO WITH THIS!?" Beauty shouted out.

"SO! With all that bein said! I declare that I shall not rest until I go where no fro has ever gone before! I, Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo shall not sleep until I venture to the great unknown! I shall not relax until I break the bounds of my world more so than I usually do!" Bobobo declared, wearing the uniform of the famed French Empire, standing alongside Emperor Napoleon Bonaparte himself on his majestic horse like in the painting.

"And I will help you get started, mon ami! Come this way!" The man who changed the face of Europe itself grabbed Bobobo by the fro and placed him into the golden chariot that appeared out of nowhere.

"WHAT?! NO GET HIM OUT OF-" Beauty's protests were cut short by Napoleon's men, who grabbed her and Gasser along with Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler.

"Hommes en avant! Pour la france!" Napoleon ordered, and the dragoons under his command rode forth. Where they're going no one knows. All that is known is the various states of panic the passengers were in. Be it Bobobo's calm or Don Patch's outrage. But the dragoons continued until they met up with the main bulk of Napoleon's army preparing to march to war. As soon as that was done, the carriage was toppled, those inside dumped out like rocks save for Bobobo, who stepped down from a horse next to Napoleon wearing the attire of a French general.

"And here is where you can find a way to your hopes and dreams, Bobobo." Napoleon said.

"Thank you, my emperor. I owe you my life and much more."

"You have done enough for me, mon ami. Your time is done. But mine is just beginning"

"WAIT WHEN DID YOU BECOME A GENERAL IN THE GRAND ARMEE?!" Gasser cried in shock.

"You will find your means here. Now as for me, I must find a way back home before those EU idiots do any more harm to my beloved France."

"Go forth, bring glory to France! VIVE LE FRANCE!"

"VIVE LE FRANCE!" The cry from the army called as Napoleon returned to his duties, leaving the crew to their own devices. A tear fell from Bobobo's eye seeing the glorious tri-color of France held aloft across the whole army fade into the horizon.

"Some men live and die beneath the shade of their olive trees… some change the world, even in defeat."

Beauty brought up her usual complaints. "WAIT! Why did they bring us here?!"

"Don't you know, Beauty? They discovered the key to another dimension here!" Bobobo said.

"HAAAAAAAAAAH?!"

"It was discovered years ago, and led to the Battle of Landlee. The British, the Austrians and the Prussians all wanted it, but our emperor wouldn't give them a chance or quarter for the prize. Outnumbered 4 to one but winning anyway, the Coalition was once again defeated. But given how unknown this is, Emperor Napoleon entrusted me, one of his most trusted lieutenants to scout this world for him rather than risk his entire army."

"So we're going in blind." Beauty said with a sigh.

"It wouldn't be the first time. We've been to Blabsalot's realm and Bobobo world." Jelly said as he packed up baguettes. "Go new places, see new things, make new friends. Why shouldn't we?"

Gasser then spoke next. "What kind of means to this dimension travel is it? And why are we going? How are we supposed to-"

"BE QUIET, GAS SACK!" Don Patch shouted throwing a stone at Gasser's head. "People aren't reading this for boring exposition, they're here to see how we can screw up the goings on in another world! And I for one am eager to see just what we can do! If I hear one more peep out of either of you I'm gonna tie you to a tree and leave you for the Hair Hunters to catch!" Silence would follow for at least the next 5 minutes as the three stooges dug into the ground. Then pulling up a message in a bottle from the ground.

"IT'S A MESSAGE IN A BOTTLE?!"

"Of course. What did you expect, the Stargate?" Bobobo asked. He then grabbed the cork and ripped it off, pouring the message out as though it were liquid rather than simply picking it out. Said message landing on the ground. Then without warning, a portal appeared. "And now before we depart, I bring back an old friend for this tour. Say hello to Mister Hamster!" Bobobo's statement was directed towards a tiny furry creature with a star on his forehead and a 'W' on his chest.

"Howdy!" He said.

"NOW ONTO THE JELLY JUNKIN!" Up came Jelly Jiggler in the form of a bus as Bobobo threw the others onto said bus for a ride. As soon as it was filled, Bobobo drove the bus away, once again leaving Mr Hamster behind. He only realized as the bus went through the portal. "NO THIS IS SO UNFAIR!"

…

And out the portal they came, but instead riding a Bobobo tank.

"We have arrived! DEPART!" The Bobobo tank spat out the passengers along with bean-stuffed bears and sumo wrestlers. "Welcome to our destination!"

"Where are we?" Beauty asked.

"More importantly, where did they get that armor?!" Gasser cried. He had just noticed the fact that Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler were now donned in the armor Space Marines. "WAIT! WHEN DID YOU GET THAT ARMOR?!"

"Silence, we must be wary of the xeno and the mutant!" Jiggler said.

"Indeed, Brother Jiggler! Keep your bolter close and your chainsword closer! For you may find them necessary in this strange new world."

"YOU'RE BROTHERS?!" Gasser shouted.

"Calm, my friends!" Bobobo said. Now looking like a chapter master. "We are sent here in the Emperor's name to cleanse the alien, the mutant, and the heretic in any and all means!"

"LAST I CHECKED NAPOLEON WASN'T A THEOCRATIC UBERHUMAN!" Beauty cried. A moment after the shock wore off, they took in the view of their new environment. It was dark out, and they looked like they were in a forest. "Well we're clearly in a forest, but the question is where to now?"

"OH HEY! Take a look at that, chapter master!" Don Patch pointed to something out of bounds. There was a bright light in the distance shining straight into the sky like a signal for aliens or the particularly confusing beginning for a bad fanfiction that is already going more and more off the rails.

"A SIGNAL FOR OUR CRUSADE! With me brothers, advance!" The three lumbered away in a marching run, leaving Beauty and Gasser behind. Suddenly aware they were wearing the armor and uniforms of Imperial Guardsmen.

"WHEN DID I PUT THIS ON!?"

"You too, Guardsmen, come with us!" Jiggler shouted grabbing them for the ride.

**CONVENIENT TIMESKIP**

MEANWHILE, at the location of the beam of light, a game was underway. We take a change in perspective as a game between the crew of Sonic and friends and the big nasty Eggman was underway. A rather unfair game of twists and turns considering the fact there was a team of robots let alone the natural abilities of Sonic and co. Nevertheless everything was close, and the stadium was packed from the sheer excitement of the situation, one that would be even more so if it weren't for the fact it was being played for a gem of unimaginable power!

Team Sonic's score reached 36 while that of Eggman's was at 35. Of course Eggman, the lousy and conniving man that will take an opportunity to get one up over his enemies had an ace up his sleeve. Never mind Knuckles' constant homeruns or the fact that the Chao and rabbit managed to bring the score to tie and that kid Chris hit one to raise the score. It's like everything just went upside down!

But now was his trump card.

Just a press of a button and the head of one of his E-21 Ballios bots detached and went upon Sonic's head. Not very perceptive of him, wasn't it? "Oh dear, my robot it's malfunctioning! It will explode any minute now! Run Sonic! Hurry, run away!" His forced sense of panic was a dead giveaway, though hard to really see how such a thing was a method.

"Sonic, you gotta get that thing off your head!" Chris yelled

"Nrg. It's stuck on tight! I gotta get rid of this thing quick!" As soon as he finished saying that, the blue hedgehog began running… but that left the team without a batter! "Hey, you're really hangin on!" He said to the robot, but getting no response. Meanwhile during all this, Eggman was hooting away in laughter.

"Well, if he doesn't get on with it we'll have to close the game leaving me as winner or a tie, either way I get the emerald! HOOOO hohohohohohohoho!" Much to the anger of plenty of people, such as Amy Rose being held back by Cream and Chees from pummeling him with her hammer, meanwhile Knuckles was trying to get into the right spot to punch that robot off of Sonic.

"NOT SO FAST!" Came the boisterous voice of an undeniably big muscly man. From one of the team gates and to a catchy rock tune **(the Bobobo theme)** came a new player on the field in the colors of Sonic's team. A large and bodybuilder sized man with rather skinny long legs and tanned skin. However the most distinguishable thing about him was were his sunglasses and a large golden afro that barely fit underneath the cap he wore.

"WAIT WHY ARE WE SUDDENLY DOING THIS?!" Beauty cried from the stands.

"QUIET! IT'S NOT YOUR TIME TO TALK, LOUDMOUTH!" Don Patch demanded.

The intro music ended quickly and silence fell over the stadium from the strange sight before it… I mean can you blame them? It's an outlandish looking man with an afro the size of Jupiter and shining like 24 karat gold! "I heard there was a game in town and figured I'd join in on the fun! But from what I'm seein we got a full house and it'd be a shame for the game to just end like that!"

Cheers erupted from the crowd after that statement

"Uhhhhh… who are you?" The question being from Chuck, the first to approach him. The man looked down upon him with a hard gaze.

"Me? I am… they know me as… I go by… Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo! Top hitter of the Fro Bats of downtown Las Vegas! I was here on vacation when I heard that there was a game and decided, 'Why not? I ain't got nothing better to do!' So I came here to do my part against the overgrown egg over there!" The statement resulted in laughs from the crowd, and an angry yell from the man in question.

"WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!" Eggman roared.

"I'm deciding whether or not you'd look better fried or scrambled! I missed breakfast thanks to this!" Bobobo declared.

"Wait… wha?"

"I'm a late sleeper!" Bobobo added.

"Uhhhhhhhhhhhh…!" Was Chuck's answer

"Are we gonna talk or are we gonna play!?" Bobobo demanded bringing out his bat… a very blue one at that. A few moments passed… then a few more… Eggman and Chuck looked at each other and shrugged. Giving the nod of the head. "OH THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU! I've been wantin to play baseball ever since I was a little boy!" His demeanor suddenly changed to that of a little boy… rather strange.

"But… I thought you said…" Chuck's sentence was left unfinished as Bobobo went to the mound to bat. "… maybe we shouldn't have played so late." He said rubbing the back of his head.

"I think we're in agreement…" Eggman said. "Well no going back now. Everything is set."

"Yeah. Who knows, he just might make things interesting!" Chuck commented. Everything was now in place as the E-21 readied the pitch. Bobobo rose his bat and readied the swing. Unaware of the fact that Decoe was currently looking at a face on the bat.

"What are you looking at?" He asked, causing the robot to flinch. The pitch was made and the swing commenced. A scream of pain was heard as the ball was sent skyward… very skyward… like stratosphere skyward. Any cheers were silenced by the spectacle just performed.

"What was that?" Sonic asked with a gaping maw as he finally got the robot off his head thanks to Knuckles.

"More importantly why is THAT THERE?!" Knuckles cried out, pointing to the mound. Next to the pitcher bot was an organ being played by a strange orange creature playing the baseball jingle. Only to notice this Bobobo was now merrily skipping his way to the bases. **(Cue Route 101 from Pokemon Emerald)** "La de deeeee la de daaaaaaaaa la de dooooooo!"

"… okay, maybe you were right Knuckles… maybe we should've just taken the emerald and ran. This is getting too weird." Sonic said blankly seeing how childish this grown man was acting

"You can say that again!" The stunning performance of an atmospheric homerun was replaced by the gawking confusion of the absolute absurdity of Bobobo's behavior, Eggman was panicking. HE WAS WINNING THE GAME FOR TEAM SONIC! So, he took his leave.

"You may have beaten me at baseball, but with this shiny blue Chaos Emerald snuggled ever so safely in my pocket, I'm the real winner after all aren't I?" But the moment he felt for the emerald… he felt nothing… another pocket. Nothing… then another. Nothing. Another. Now panic set in. "WHAAAA?! Where is it? Where is it?! Where's the Chaos Emerald?!"

"Hello sir." Came a calm male voice from behind. Eggman turned and nearly screamed in confusion at the sight. Standing before him on his pod was a blue blocky shaped man made of… gelatin? He bore a smirk. In his fingerless hand was the CHAOS EMERALD!

"HEY! GIVE THAT BACK RIGHT NOW!"

"NO! It's mine! My husband gave me this emerald before he left for the Great War!"

"I- wait what?!" Did he hear this properly?

"Yes. My husband was conscripted into the great gelatin army to turn the tide of the Tofu Reich's invasion of Gellatinia." He began crying. "My Husband gave me this to remember him by! He came back to me in a can. All that was left of him was a few cubes the size of a penny! He was crushed by a walking talking tofu dinosaur!" Begins bawling.

"Uhhhhhhh… I'm sorry… I uhhh I didn't know."

"Besides it's my color!" The man jumped off the pod and ran off.

"Yes. Yes it is." Eggman said. "… WAIT A MINUTE!" But by the time he realized and gave chase, Eggman saw that the jelly man landed right in front of Sonic.

"Hehey… whaddaya know. Thanks for the save." He said.

"Heh. Yeah, who'da thought that a… whatever this thing is would've gotten the Chaos Emerald back? Now just hand that over and we can finally call it a night." Knuckles said.

"Whaaa? Didn't you hear me? My husband gave me this! YOU'RE NOT TAKING MY ONLY MEMOIR LEFT OF MY HUSBAND!" He protested hugging the emerald close to him. It had the reaction you'd expect. Confusion and the eventual impatience. However before anything could happen, the gelatin man hopped away and towards Bobobo and the-

"WAIT A MINUTE!" Sonic cried. "IS HE A NINJA NOW? AND WHAT'S THAT ORANGE THING!? WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?" Sure enough, Bobobo was a ninja now. And he along with this gelatin man and… whatever that orange thing was were now running for the exit with the Chaos Emerald in hand! As expected, Eggman sent his robots after them while Sonic and co were organizing their pursuit while at the same time trying to figure out what was going on.

**(Cue le Nyakuza Metro)**

The group ran for the middle of the field, as Don Patch took to the car he had sitting out as an escape.

"HOLD ON KIDDOS, WE'RE GONNA LIQUIFY THE ROADS!" He shouted, blowing through the robots as he positioned himself prominently upon the mound.

"WHERE DID YOU GET THAT CAR?!" Beauty cried as They tore away from the stadium to the sound of a clearly estatic crowd. "AND WHERE ARE WE GOING?!"

"We're goin to the harbor!" Jiggler said. "With this big emerald we can finally pay off the mob and get out of the country!"

"I though your husband gave it to you?!" Gasser yelled.

"HECK NO! HE LEFT ME FOR A YOUNG BOWL OF TOFU! It's because of HIM we're in this mess! I found a nice cup of green tea over in Asia who wants to take care of me!"

"Oh, him? He's married." Said Don Patch, leaving Jelly suddenly bawling. "Wait, where's fro boy!?"

Bobobo was found on a pair of skis behind the car, riding as though he was water skiing in his samba outfit from episode 1. "I've been training for this for years! It's time to make my dreams come true! OFF TO THE CITY FOR FUN AND SAMBAAAAAA!"

With that in mind, Sonic was already on their heels while a clearly furious Eggman was attempting to get his own bead on them. Everyone else however was just standing in sheer shock at the events that had just occurred within the past few moments.

"… uh Tails?" Chris asked.

"Yeah?"

"Are those… guys familiar to you?"

"No… never seen them before at all…"

"COME ON! They took the Chaos Emerald!" Amy pointed out, snapping those who were still in shock out of their trance and spurring them into action. Well they could look on the bright side. Eggman didn't have it. Tails, Amy and Chris went for the X-Tornado. They had to find this band of misfits before they got away!

Sonic himself kept pace. But to say he was confused would be an understatement. He was flabbergasted! No that's still not good enough. He felt as though he was dreaming after eating one too many chili dogs chasing after this man. He was a skiing disco ball for pete's sake! NO HE WAS LITERALLY A DISCO BALL! And was that ELVIS PRESLEY'S GHOST WITH HIM NOW?! "Ugh! I had one too many chili dogs!" He shakes his head. "Gotta get that emerald back!" Especially seeing as they had now reached the city streets and traffic was sporadic and unpredictable. Speeding up he ran alongside the disco ball man as the ghost hopped of. It seems he reached his destination.

"HEY! Pull over and give that emerald back!"

"Huh? WHOA JELLY! A talking running hedgehog?! I've never seen such a confusing sight!" Bobobo yelled

"ARE YOU SERIOUS?! YOU THINK THAT'S WEIRD COMPARED TO ALL THE STUFF YOU DO?!" Beauty cried, only to be hit by a flying **MAJIDE** in the back of the head. Knocking her out for the duration of the event.

"HEY! Don Patch, this guy here stole your look!" Bobobo cried out.

"WHAAAAAAAAAAA?! Jelly take over, I have some business to take care of!" With Jelly Jiggler left to direct the getaway effort, Don Patch hopped to the back, decked out with machine gun belts and a fully loaded M60. The quintessential Rambo kit! There was Sonic now aware of the sun person before him. "Hey you're right! He's trying to steal my look!"

"Huh? WHa?"

"NO ONE TAKES THE SPIKY APPEARANCE BUT MEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Patch then roared in fury as he unloaded the M60 in one arm while feeding ammo with the other. Of course Sonic was fast enough to evade the fire of this rapid fire weapon, but it did keep him from properly gaining speed to catch up.

"You're gonna hurt someone with that!"

"You're right I am, and that means I'll likely be arrested for assault with a deadly weapon!" Don quickly relented and went mellow. He tossed his M60 aside and instead grabbed a box full of candy and donuts and began throwing them at him. "Here! Have some complimentary treats as an apology!" And it was here Sonic realized he traded one problem for another. Now he had to avoid slipping on a jelly donut and getting candy in the eye!

"Sonic! I have a ring for you!" Came the voice of Tails. The X-Tornado had caught up to them!

"Good idea! The way this is going I'd better end this sooner rather than later!"

"Whaaa? You mean you're gonna spoil my fun?!" Bobobo asked, receiving a confused stare from the hedgehog. The mentioned ring flew forth from the Tornado and towards Sonic's hand. But before he could grab it.

"OOH! Glowing flying donut!" The ring was intercepted by Bobobo who promptly stuck his head in front of Sonic's hand and ate the ring. Swallowing it whole before going back to position. "YUCK! I wouldn't forcefeed that to Jelly Jiggler even if he deserved it!" Then he gurgled and burped it back out. "Here, you can have it back." Sonic was left perplexed even more now as the ring Bobobo burped out was not taken and simply clattered to the pavement.

"HEY! THIS IS A NO FLY ZONE!" Don Patch yelled angrily as he grabbed his M60 again, opening fire upon the X-Tornado with all the ammunition he had available. But it seemed to do little against the big flying mech plane. Don Patch raged about how he couldn't damage the thing and looked at his bullets… only to find the ACME logo on them. "HUNKS OF JUNK!" He tossed his gun towards the craft, and this time actually did some damage! This bought them time to get away as Sonic now shifted his focus to helping his friends.

"HAHA! Good work, Don Patch. Now we can get outta- ROBOTS!" As pointed out, a pack of robots of the E-43 Falcon design had descended upon them, their target being the Chaos Emerald. And behind the car was now the giant ship and pod of Eggman.

"You little misfits! Give me back my emerald!"

"Oh no! Santa Claus's evil twin is after the present Jelly Jiggler's late husband gave to him before going to war!" Bobobo then grabbed a tennis racket from his afro and swatted at the robots that got close to him with reckless abandon. "Get away from me you overdesigned rustbuckets! No one plays with RC planes these days!" Jiggler then made a hard turn, resulting in Bobobo swinging along the pavement and crashing through a café, a parked bus and a lamppost. The aftermath was devastating. Bobobo got turned into a dodo! "There's a reason the dodo went extinct!" He cried.

"Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! You'll pay you cuckoo bird! I don't care how unpredictable you are!"

And after an entire session of the fast and the furious involving destroyed robots whole street vendor stores being destroyed with priceless souvenirs strewn across the roads Bobobo and his friends reached a nice hill on the outskirts of the city, finally free of interference and danger- oh wait… ah yes. We're 5,000 words in already? Well then time for a break!

_**This fanfiction is brought to you by Bobob-Os! When you need fuel for some good ol wiggin, have some Bobob-Os till you stop beggin! Part of a complete balanced breakfast!**_

"WOW these Bobob-Os are good!" Bobobo said devouring bowls of Bobob-Os

"WHEN DID YOU GET YOUR OWN CEREAL!?" Beauty cried, having recovered from the knockout. "AND WHY WAS I KNOCKED OUT?!"

"Because you're useless!" Don Patch shouted. Eliciting a shout of anger from Beauty. "All you ever do is try to get on track when we're having fun or otherwise freaking out whenever we do our thing! Here I thought you'd be used to it by now!"

"Hey, even they agree with me!" Gasser said. Resulting in Beauty getting the comical face of tears.

"Okay, time to go!" though the moment he was entering the car, he heard something approaching. He saw it just in time, grabbing Jelly Jiggler and using him as a shield to avoid a spin attack. Jiggler cried in pain, but was unheeded save for the concern of Beauty and Gasser.

"RRRGH!" Bobobo growled in anger as he saw his assailant.

"Sorry I'm late, I had a hard time finding out where you were." Sonic in all his glory was now before the Bobobo crew with his trademark grin.

"LOOK WHAT YOU DID TO MY FRIEND!" Bobobo yelled holding up Jelly Jiggler for Sonic to see. Sonic's grin turned to confusion immediately.

"Wait… wait YOU'RE the one who used him as a shield!"

"Only because you attacked me you ruffian!" Bobobo cried now bearing woman's clothes. "You Thug! How dare you do this to my special friend!"

"HEY!" Don Patch ran forth and stood between Sonic and Bobobo. "If anyone's gonna be duking it out with him it's gonna be me! HE STOLE MY LOOK!"

"Wha…?" If he was to have a confusion meter, Sonic would find it would be beyond repair. "Who are you even supposed to be? I never even heard of you."

"WHAT?! I'm the most popular character here!" With that Don Patch made his attack throwing punches at him.

"Yeah you get him Don Patch! Make him regret stealin your look!" Sonic dodged several times before launching a good ways from Patch.

"Whoa, he's pretty fast. Better beat him down while I can." He said before spinning again and going right at Don Patch. He himself was rushing head on. Sonic however was the superior combatant here, sending Don Patch back and right into the car. At this moment Eggman's robots and the rest of Sonic's friends arrived. Only to find the scene before them of Bobobo in a black funeral dress holding a wounded Don Patch close.

"NO DARLING! Please, don't go!" He whined.

"I'm sorry my love. But I can't go on… every bone in my body is broke. Please… please tell little Timmy I love him." Meanwhile, a tiny Jelly Jiggler stood by them wearing a propeller hat and a striped shirt licking a lollipop. Don Patch passed from this world, his soul leaving his body.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! YOU MONSTER!" Bobobo shouted throwing Don Patch's body towards Sonic's friends, hitting Knuckles front and center. Miraculously this brought him back from death as he then skipped back to Bobobo.

"OK! THAT'S ENOUGH! Sonic yelled. "Whoever you are, whatever you are and wherever you came from, just give us back that Chaos Emerald!"

"NONONO! Give the emerald to me!" Eggman ordered.

Bobobo then proceeded to watch the two sides throw insults at one another as he stood on the sidelines, eating popcorn with Patch and Jiggler. "Uh. Excuse me." He said, gaining the attention of both parties. "Buuuuuuuuuuut… I plan on keeping this emerald."

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA?"

"Yeah. If this is as bothersome and important as you say it is, and seeing as I don't know what is going on here, then I-" He opens the afro and places the emerald inside "-will be keepin this until further notice." He then turned and began shaking what his mother gave him. "Finders keepers. Losers weepers. Sleeping sleepers. Jeepers creepers."

"Look buddy." Knuckles said stepping forward. "You led us on a wild goose chase through that city after showing up out of nowhere! Now either you give us that emerald or we'll TAKE it from you!" Bobobo entered his combat pose.

"Here's another thing! You look like a girl with those long locks of hair!" That sent Knuckles over the edge. He ran forward with fists ready to bare. Bobobo effortlessly dodged via a cartwheel, then using a leg he sent a kick in the echidna's direction, barely missing as Knuckles dodged and countered with another punch. Bobobo backed up a few steps before leaping towards Knuckles with a ballerina twirl and kicking with every twist. Knuckles then got a lucky strike and hit Bobobo right in the gut, but rather than send him flying he was simply stopped mid twist. Only to then fall over in a tantrum. "OWEE OWEE OWEE! THAT HURT YOU BIG BULLY!"

"Don't be trying to fool me, I'm not falling for your tricks!" Knuckles said.

"Fine." Bobobo said getting up without any problems. "I'll give you the emerald then." He then kneeled, showing the top of his afro to the Echidna and opened it. However the moment it happened, Jelly Jiggler burst forth and slammed Knuckles in the face.

"BLUE IS BETTER THAN RED ANY DAY OF THE YEAR!" He cried.

"Nice work Jelly Jiggler, NOW GET THE REST OF THEM!" Bobobo tossed Jiggler at the group only for a particular hammer to send him flying back!

"NOOOOOOO NOT YOU TOO JIGGLER!"

"BUT IT'S YOUR FAULT!" Amy cried.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Bobobo cried to the heavens.

"That's enough! ROBOTS ATTACK!" Eggman's robots came forth and started blasting with their lasers and energy shots. But Bobobo didn't relent, running forth and attacking in close-quarters with a rubber mallet. "NOO! Stop that!"

"But it's fun to break your toys! Haha!"

"So what? Is it a free for all?" Sonic asks running forth to attack.

"SURE IS!" Don Patch said rammin into his side. "Come on. Mono a mono! Spikey boy to spikey boy! YAAAAAAAAAA!" And yet another melee began. Jelly Jiggler then joined in the fun by flinging himself forth into the fray, tackling Knuckles again.

"This is just getting out of hand. I only brought enough for a small tussle, not a battle! RAAAAGH! FALL BACK!" Eggman having run into this unexpected hurdle retreated, leaving Sonic and co to face Bobobo and his two companions.

"We've defeated Santa's evil twin! Now to get rid of these Don Patch bootlegs! YAAAAAAAA!" Bobobo then found his friends beaten… again. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Look, this is getting ridiculous! Give us that emerald!" Sonic rushed forward to Bobobo, but suddenly his afro opened up again. From there came a big bright light that blinded everyone present.

"SUPER FIST OF THE NOSE HAIR! SHINING SUN OF BLINDING THEM SO YOU CAN RUN AWAY!" The light then dissipates, revealing naught but Jiggler who eventually realizes his predicament.

"HAH!? No! Wait for me guys!" He shouts running off, before turning back to look Knuckles straight in the eye. "We'll meet again redhead! And when we do I shall crush you! BLUE BLUE BLUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEE!" Team Sonic was left standing in shock, confusion, and practically every other associated word. Not only had they lost the Chaos Emerald. They lost it to a man with a big afro seemingly able to defy the laws of physics and logic, a sun-shaped loudmouth with an unreasonable hatred for Sonic and a walking gelatin man who seems to have a red vs blue complex against Knuckles.

"Well then… it seems there's another reason for us to get the Chaos Emeralds." Chris said blankly.

"Eggman we know. This guy… what's his name?" Tails asked.

"Bobobo-bo Bo-bobo." Chuck answered. "No more messing around. No more games. If what we saw was true, if tthis man quite literally has the power to do what he did… then we may be in greater danger than initially thought."

"I agree. We better be ready to move the moment we hear about the next emerald so that crazy man doesn't put it in his afro." Tails answered.

"Yeah…" Sonic added. "We should go home… I need some rest after what I saw."

"Me too." Knuckles said.

"Me three." And so on and so forth.

Meanwhile Bobobo managed to find a new place to rest and hide until they were ready to make their next move. The moments that followed here were of the consumption of Bobob-Os and Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler raging about their new rivals. What is to become of this rather unexpected, fast paced and otherwise uncalled for introduction to a new adventure? Will Bobobo eventually join up with Team Sonic? Will Don Patch and Jelly Jiggler ever win a battle agains their one-sided rivals? WILL THE AUTHOR GET BACK TO THE STORY PEOPLE ACTUALLY WANT TO READ? Find out next time in the Fast and the Bo!


End file.
